Feelings

Lust, Desire and Love

Lust, one of the biggest contributing factors as to why we play games with emotions. Every single one of us has had a co-worker or friend of a friend that we thought was hot, or at least attractive enough to want more from them. Over time that attraction, if not pushed aside, can change into a roller coaster of emotions. First, they distract us, as we think about being with them and what it would be like. Second, as time goes by, this attraction (lust) becomes more animalistic making us want that person badly. This kind of lust can lead to going to far with our means to get that person.

Finally, if not acted upon, those feelings become suppressed and put away. If those feelings are acted upon though it can be a whirlwind for as long as that lust is strong. It should be noted, however, that these feelings are only lust. Never did you see it mentioned that you develop real, practical feelings. Lust can mask itself as many things, feelings being one of them. One might think that they really like a person, but soon find out that the drive is gone and so are those feelings. Prime example why you should never give into lust as a desire, and never start a relationship fixated on these feelings.

Desire

If someone does not possess the same level of desire that you do going into a relationship then it is finished before it began. Desire is something that has to be worked up to. Unlike lust, which is purely hormonally driven, desire is deep, passionate; a level of caring that is unquestionable to the point that it makes your stomach ache. This is also primal and instincts that are engraved into our very being. These are things that you cannot keep from happening because they are instinctual.

The difference is one can control lust; desire is something that needs to happen on an equal and level field. Hence the reason it is so important to start out slow. So many people today are lonely and depressed, rushing into the first thing they find and hoisting the love flag before the dust settles. Instead couples should work their way into something meaningful and lasting, with the same level of desire for one another. Lust fades like the seasons, desire is ever lasting.

Desire is in fact the strongest emotion next to love that one will ever find. I, for one, have been a victim of not taking my own advice. I have followed lust like a lost puppy, rushing in and feeding off of that primal high. This only leads to being let down when that feeling fades. Desire is what we need, what we long for, it should be the reason we get out of bed in the morning. However, this should not only apply to relationships, i.e.: your job, your hobby, etc.

Love

Warning, about 9 out of every 10 people that read this are about to disagree with me on my next point. However, bare with me, finish reading, and hopefully you will come to an understanding of what I mean.

You cannot and will not ever truly love the person that you are with in a relationship until that person becomes your life and your world. I will explain. We are talking about instincts, and primal natures here. It is instinctual to love your family, to feel a certain indescribable bound with them; this bound can be damaged but never broken. It is primal and instinctual to love your children; the fruit that you have bear from you own flesh.

Your children you would give up your own life for. This is love. The very definition of what love is. No one would ever turn their back on their own children unless they are completely wired wrong and should not have had them to begin with. Children are the absolute definition of love. They are trying, testing, challenging, can make mistakes, can make you proud, can get in trouble, can get you in trouble, but no matter what they do you will always love and cherish them.

We cannot love a mate in this way. It is not possible. We were not wired to love them in that way or else it would be disgusting to us to have relations with that person. Once again, I remind you that I do not ask that you agree with me. If we stay with the same person long enough for our children to grow and venture out on their own, and have children of their own then we realize how and why we love our mate. It is because desire has finally been replaced with need and accomplishment, and it is on those levels that we find what true love of our mate is about.

When life has reached this point, one will realize how much they need that other person to complete them and make them whole. They will both share a level of accomplishment from watching their children and grandchildren unmatched by anything else in life. We do not fall in or out of love with someone because it takes longer to develop that love then anything else we do in life.

The truth is that we fall out of lust and/or desire with a person and no longer feel the need to share a bond with them. This is replaced of course with a level of caring that is different from any other. It is purely based on the fact that you shared something special with that person if you had intercourse. Once again lust is a very powerful emotion, one that can make us do crazy things like return to a person that we know is not good for us. Just remember the differences between these types of feelings.

Why do Humans Play Games With Love?

 For many this would be a simple question. For past time we play sports and activities in order to have fun and escape reality. What happens though when the time that you are passing belongs to someone else? I am talking about matters of the heart, and the games that we play with others. No one likes to have his or her time wasted. I know I do not. Have you ever looked into the relationships of your past, or even the one you might be in now and examined the games that are played? We bargain with our love to get what we want. Often times we bargain with other matters as well, more discreet matters.

All in all we use each other to get the things we need. Sometimes it is to get ahead. Oft times it is to not be alone. However, we do all of these things in the name of love, or at least in the search of this great mysterious feeling. The biggest issue we face today is the lack of knowledge about what love is and how it affects each of us. We all want that long loving relationship, but unfortunately we often find it in what we cannot have or should not want. This is where the game begins and is played out and the moment we get something that is all ours for the taking we no longer want that. It becomes boring to us, no longer a challenge.

In this short blog series we will cover what love is from a pragmatic view. We will also discover how it can be made to truly last with the right person, and hopefully how to steer clear of the wrong person!